Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
