I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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