you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
