I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize