Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
