the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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