You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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