I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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