Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
