would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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