i think my mom watched the whole time
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
