yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
