he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
