I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
North Korea, Best Korea!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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