Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
