I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
