He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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