Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
