I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I could fuck to npr.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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