we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You dont lie about slip and slides
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
