Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
