Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
