OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
