i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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