Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
