So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
