did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize