So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
