HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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