Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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