i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
