i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
