I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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