Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
