Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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