i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
