I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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