Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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