The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
