There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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