PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
