Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
