I just threw up on my dentist
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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