I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
high people should be assigned attendants
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
