Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
