is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize