Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
