Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
