these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
