And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
