one might say we're banned from that church
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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