he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
