What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
