Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
