I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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