saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
