that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
