when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
